"Practice And All Is Coming"

This photo was taken in Mysore, India with a local musician.

As I sit here today, in preparation for my virtual weekend yoga training, updating my online platform and diving into the world of Ashtanga Yoga on the mat, the series of postures, as well as The Eight Limbs of Yoga : today I miss this one.... the one who once told me and the world, "Practice and All Is Coming". My former teacher Pattabhi Jois. Remembering him and our first encounter. I had to re-read THIS article about his life, where many of his students share their experience with Guruji and how he impacted their life. I can't deny a feeling of a certain kind of sadness, or should I say melancholy. Have you every met someone who because of their presence in your life whether in person or in distance you became a better person? If you have, you know exactly what I am talking about. That person to me was Pattabhi Jois. When I first met him I was a kid. Before making my way to India to study in his school, there were practices and gatherings in Los Angeles and New York during his world tours. Before I was ever in his physical presence I was familiar with the ashtanga practice .The asana series itself was a big life changing factor in my life. I became stronger, more disciplined and I loved how the practice made me feel more grounded and awake. I was finally in my body. I was 21 when I meet Guruji in person, and 22 on my first of many trips to Mysore, India. Being in his presence sparked and awakened an inner light in me that to this day I am moved by it. It is this force field that has me teaching yoga and sharing the many gifts of yoga with the world, and not because he is an Indian Guru, or some sort of blind faith in a dogmatic sense, no that is not my story. I have never been one to follow extremes, if you know me, this probably comes across quickly. I am not a black or white type of person. Sometimes the lines are blurry, we need to read the in-betweens and have discernment for what is wrong or right for each. My surrender to Guruji, comes from the fact that he is a great master of his time and the transmission of Shakti, divine energy, was the essence of our student teacher relationship. To say he made me a better human, practitioner, student, and yoga teacher is to say the least. I had Shanti Yoga Shala, studio for nine years, and for nine years we had an altar devoted to him, with the beautiful photo of him and his beloved wife, Amma, on the altar ( oh I treasured that photo). There was not one day I didn't feel his presence in our sacred space and in my teachings, or in my heart. Every day I lit a candle for Guruji, to honor his life and foremost to honor the life he has awakened within me. To honor the many gifts he gave me, grace, love, compassion, inner peace, love of nature, animals, among the many. It is that force, that steadiness, focus and Jedi quality that lives within us - which many of his students have experienced. If I can offer my students a fraction of that essence I know I have lived a good life, a life worth it's purpose. In the practice room in Mysore, often times my practice time was 4AM, on days that I was weak in Spirit, he gave me strength, he pushed me and would ask me to repeat the postures I had trouble with two, three times in a fierce way. On days I was sick, but not mature enough to skip practice, he would walk up to me and tell me to go home and take rest in his gentle way. He just knew. 

I bugged him during office hours to ask questions about meditation, and after practice he would ask me to sit for half hour in sukhasana (half lotus), before Savasana... I can still hear his voice saying... " You Practice and All Is Coming" . On conference days I was one of the first ones to arrive and one of the last ones to leave the Shala, until Saraswati would tell me you go home rest. I loved the call and response to Sanskrit postures after practice, and attended it each time, thrilled. I loved feeding bananas to the cows on the streets of Mysore. Gathering with the yogis at the coconut stand and chatting for hours each day. I loved the simplicity of our life style back then and waking up with the chant of the mosque each morning at dawn. In the early days there was no Internet in my apartment, the lights went off at 7:30/8PM and only cold showers, no hot water. A mosquito nest surrounded my bed and it was all perfect, one of the happiest times of my life. I had to re-visit my memory of this time as I prepare for my yoga training this weekend. Fast forward so much has changed. Change is the only constant, as yoga teaches us. There has been accusations of sexual misconduct, I am aware. It's undeniable that it's unfortunate any time this happens, and much of the conversation has been on this theme lately. I don't have much to say since I never saw or experienced anything similar and in fact my experience has been quite the opposite. We can't deny or erase those experiences, nor can we deny or erase the one I've had. In the darkest hours of our Souls may we find redemption and forgiveness for those who have made mistakes, for we too have made mistakes and we must forgive ourselves and others. I don't think any situation is black or white. I honor all truths and I am here to share and live my own truth. I am fortunate to have the life I have and the experiences who made me who I am today. I know without a doubt that had I not met Pattabhi Jois, my life would be very different today. I am forever grateful to all the teachings, the awakenings, and all the yoga on and off the mat. I am thankful for being led and shown the path of living life in light. One day after practice and after bugging Guruji for many months about his Navaratna traditional India gold ring, because I love beauty, I was sent to his family's jeweler and I finally had my own Navaratna custom made. It felt very special to share the same jeweler and back then the ring was a lot of money for me, many sacrifices were made so I could own that ring. To this day, over twenty years later,  I wear my Navaratna ring. During practice, Guruji was so proud of me when he saw how beautiful my ring turned out. He always commented on my ring. I hope that wherever he is today, he can look down and still be proud of me and his many students and the path he has led us on. 

I hope that we are continuing his work, even if only a fraction, because I know it will be magnificent. Yoga looks very different today, but the essence is the same. I never met Krishnamacharya, but I have a knowing he was a great Soul. Perhaps we have known each other in other lives, or other forms of existence. 

I wonder what he would say of all the online yoga and virtual trainings. I have a feeling they would be proud and encourage us to embrace the world as it is today, to see the challenges as opportunities and to continue spreading love, light and the path to Self realization no matter how, where and when - to step up and show up to the world as the world shows up to us. After all yoga has been around for thousands of years, it has always continued to be relevant and to adapt to new age. Yoga is eternal. Yoga is not going anywhere. Yoga is not asking for permission. For the last two years I have embraced yoga online and it has opened a whole new world for me. Thank you for that. Not only it has been a learning curve, which I love new challenges,  but it has connected me to people who otherwise I would not have access to and how awesome is that? Both as a teacher and a student,  working virtually via zoom, livestreams, online courses, various platforms,  has brought my practice and teachings to a whole new level and for that I am super grateful. There are no limits, no barriers, no distance. This is the age of information at our fingertips in the comfort of our homes. If you feel inspired try this new level of access to eternal light, source, and if that is not for you thankfully there are many in person options. I happen to love both. I love both equally. I could write a whole book on why I feel this way, for one it has brought so much freedom into my life. A new level of freedom. One of the biggest lessons I have learned is that by creating sacred space in my life, I am able to access higher levels of consciousness, creativity and by doing so I show up to myself as a better version of who I am and therefore to my yoga students and my community. Thank you Pattabhi Jois for holding space for me during the ten years of our Earth bound student, teacher relationship. I like to think in some way you are still here. Thank you for sparkling that inner light in me, so that I too could believe in myself and be a light for others. Thank you for all the wisdom, the Shakti transmission, and for holding space during the many years as I matured from a kid to a woman. Thank you for teaching me that no matter what is going on in life, or in our planet we can aways stay grounded, find our center and that the power is in neutrality. Your presence continues to inspire me each day. As you taught me that through the vast, enormous practice of yoga there is a journey to and through the Self. It takes courage to embark on this journey, not always easy but necessary. Not for everyone. An individual  will is required, as we all know.... when "there is a will, there is a way".  

This journey has offered me a vulnerability,  an intimate awakening and connection to my heart space. The heart is the connector to all beings, we are one. We are light and we are love, even in the darkest hours there is love. Only love is real. There is magic in chaos.

 If there is one thing I can pass on to my students is : Believe In Yourself.

There is a say that one candle can light many candles. Guruji was that candle for me, and I believe for many. Namaste.

I am teaching a virtual training this weekend : Topics: Eight Limbs, Ashtanga Yoga, Yoga History, Yoga Nidra.

If you enjoyed this reading consider my book Living Life In Light, A Yogi's Journey. Join my membership site check it out on nathaliecroix.com/members-portal

This photo was taken in India, the man is a local musician I met in Mysore.